Salad Assembly 101

I eat 2 nice salads each day. I grew butterleaf lettuce this year and picked it fresh each time I wanted a salad. Now, since school is back in session and we're a bit busier with balancing play and homework after a day away from each other, I make a four days' worth of salads at one time. I grab one for lunch as I head out and then I have one when I get home and feel ready to munch at 4:30 or just add it to our dinner. It's been great and my salads have so much more to them when I plan a time to listen to some music and chop with the beat.Zucchini and butternut squash cubes
Collard greens, spinach and carrot coins
Kale and broccoli
Packed and ready to store (after this shot, I remembered to add the garbanzo beans, so I opened them up and added the beans) For the past 6 months, I've been cooking dried beans overnight in the crock pot--this is my favorite. I didn't like using canned beans because of the price and the sodium level, but whenever I tried cooking dried beans on the stove I would mess them up and it seemed to take all day. The crock pot is the perfect way to get the beans just right!

I don't usually add dressing, but I keep a baggie of sunflower seeds and a baggie of almonds in my purse to add before eating.

She's helping me become what I can become

Two months ago I was being challenged repeatedly by my eldest. She was driving me to exhaustion in parenting. She was generally well-behaved but occasionally turned defiant and extremely irritating to her little sister and to me. One Sunday in church she was so naughty during the sacrament that I started to cry. She stared at me and then, get this, laughed at me. That afternoon, the girls took a nap and I turned to read the ancient account of the ressurrected Savior visiting the inhabitants of Ancient America. At this particular part that I felt I needed to re-read, He called the little children to Him. He ministered to them and blessed them one by one. I felt that I needed to read that part to remember how much He loves them and how much I should feel honored to take care of His little ones. (Even when a particular little one nearly drives me crazy once a week)

That night I dreamed that I was in Ancient America, I was dressed like a Nephite Woman

and I was surrounded by a multitude of others excited by Christ’s appearance. He was calling the little ones to Him. I was thrilled. I don’t know where Kamryn was, but I know Emerson was with me, hand in hand, I would not let her go until she was blessed and healed. For some reason at the beginning of this dream I saw Emerson as being broken and needing to be “fixed”. I felt such an urgency to get her to the front of the line, but I was also trying to be patient with all the other good people around me. When it was finally her turn, He smiled at her and helped her sit on a big boulder for her blessing. As soon as she was settled, His eyes locked with mine and He didn’t release His smiling stare until the blessing was over. He blessed Emerson that she would learn how to love others by watching her mother. He blessed her that she would become obedient by watching her mother and that she would learn how to repent and to become what He knew she could become by watching her mother. I choked up and my heart jumped into my throat. I was shocked to realize how much I needed Emerson. I need her not to be fixed, but to help fix me. He knew I could do it. He knows I can love more, obey more and change more. He locked His eyes with mine to give me the hope and love that I need to move forward and parent with courage.

He was calling the Little Ones to Him. He calls us all to Him. We’re still Children.

He knows us. He loves us. We are His Children. He gives us what we need. Often we need our children much more than they need us. Emerson has been continuing to "fix" me and shape me into what I know, and He knows I can become.

Back with my Work Family

Now there's a happy worker!! I have always felt really lucky to be a teacher. It's challenging at times, but probably the most rewarding career I could have chosen. I love working with kids and witnessing their growth and progress. I love my grade level team and my school!!
Today was our first big faculty meeting. This school is huge; I'm pretty sure we still have over 1,000 elementary kids. There are over 40 teachers and half of them I consider as near as family. It felt so good to be "home" again. I've been away for 3 years and haven't been able to stop smiling as I walk these halls and talk with these teachers and parents again.
I haven't worked with this principal before, but so far I am amazed and impressed with how she manages, motivates and leads. There was a table set for each grade level with a quote on a pendant. Our district has been in existence for 100 years, so our school theme is "a new century of champions" and you can see the sports theme throughout the decorations. Wrapped neatly for each teacher is a baseball shirt with our school's name on the front and our own last name across the back. We also have our grade number "03" for third grade on the shirt. These shirts will be worn every Friday by all the teachers for spirit day. (I LOVE the idea of a uniform for teachers, LOL, because I'm not a shopper or a clothes horse)

We also received the book "Teach Like a Champion" I studied this last year and LOVE it!! You can also see peanuts and cracker jacks in the middle of the table.

Fools Rush In

I have a ton of cute pictures to post of my girls and our adventures, but I am mainly typing tonight about my skill with (problem with) falling in love. I have been working to gain more charity over the past couple of months and it’s been amazing.

There was a time a few years ago when my heart had been hurt and I felt looked down upon and other junk that seemed to prevent me from loving normally. At this time in my life, my heart was small and hardened and located deep inside. Now, my heart is softer. It seems like my heart is actually moving to the front of my chest and growing. I think of the animated Grinch changing his heart and it actually growing 3 times.

I’ve had some tender experiences lately. I won’t go into too much detail, but many mornings I wake with a specific person on my mind and I sense a huge amount of love. On the 4th of July I woke thinking of my sweet sister-in-law who lost her dad when it seemed he was only in the middle of his life. I hurt for her. My eyes swelled up with tears as I thought of the dear man that her kids would not know personally as their grandpa. I had experienced feelings of love for her before, but this specific morning, I literally ached for her and loved her 10 times more than I ever had. Another morning, a neighbor flashed into my mind. She’s a breast cancer survivor and I’ve been getting to know her better. This achy, full heart beat for her and what she has been through. Yet another morning, I actually hurt for the ex-wife of the man that I was dating. I knew things had become so difficult in their marriage that it must have seemed impossible to erase the hurt. While, I have been so grateful for these small experiences to help me more fully appreciate the Savior’s love, I have to be honest when I say it has interrupted my morning routine. One morning as I was feeling the love for someone, I actually was sobbing during the drive. It took me a few minutes to get control of my emotions before entering the bank. I knew my eyes were puffy and red, but I really had to get on with my day.

I am reminded of a modern day romantic comedy starring Steve Carrel in Dan in Real Life. Dan is frustrated because his 13 year old daughter, Cara, feels like she is completely in love. Her would-be boyfriend explains to Dan that “love is not a feeling, it’s an ability”.

While Dan is putting teenage Marty into a car to be taken away from Cara:

Dan: Look, I'm not your parent, but I should warn you: love is a dangerous feeling.
Marty: No sir.
Dan: Are you arguing with me?
Marty: No, I'm....It's just that...[speaks spanish]. Love is not a feeling, it's an ability.
Dan: Who told you that?
Marty: I made it up Mr. Burns.

While watching Cara weep at seeing her boyfriend banished:

Marie: It's sweet.
Dan: What's sweet? How is that sweet?
Marie: To be so certain; to feel that much love...
Dan: Love. Love isn't a feeling.
Marie: No?
Dan: It's an ability.
Marie: Well, if that's true, you have one gifted daughter!
Cara: YOU ARE A MURDERER OF LOVE!

That evening at the talent show:

Aunt 1: Dan, what's your talent?
Dan: Murderer of Love.

The irony in the film is that Dan ends up falling in love with Marie more quickly than Cara fell for Marty.

Recently, I have dated some really good guys. It’s been an honor to get to know them and a couple of them have actually liked the dating rules that I use to keep me safe and comfortable.

I fell in love with one man and I announced on facebook that we were exclusive within a few hours of our Define the Relationship talk. I realized that I looked foolish, but I couldn’t hold back what I felt. There’s always excitement at the hope of a successful match, but this has been very different. It’s like I really care about him more than I care about myself and that really frightens me. He loves my dating rules and has been a perfect gentleman. I felt really safe physically and emotionally. After a few weeks, I’m realizing that this runaway train of connectedness and love needs to come to a full stop. Loving this man is more than interrupting my morning routine, it could really mess with this lovely life on the cobblestone path with my girls that I have been working on. ;-) So once again I step away from a relationship. Seriously though, I embrace this break from twitterpation and invite my brain cells to start functioning again. Apparently, I need to start praying for more logic now that I’m getting this “how to love” skill down. Maybe my brain will start enlarging and I can look like a conehead.

Breakfast of a Champion Wannabe

I used to eat breakfast just because it is "the most IMPORTANT meal of the day". Now I eat it because I LOVE it!! Since November, I've made a Green Smoothie (fruits and veggies) with protein powder, but this week I changed things up DRAMATICALLY!!

In the past, I sometimes sleepily forgot to add the protein powder and the smoothie tasted so much better and was less frothy. The drawback was that I had to mix up some water and protein powder and down it on the way out the door--yuck!

Now, I down the water/powder BEFORE treating my self to the fruit/veggie breakfast dessert.

8 oz of cool water with one scoop of vanilla OR chocolate whey, whisk, then drink as fast as possible.

Now here's the fun and yummy part:
Choose a few fruits (I like to make 1 choice frozen usually blueberries) and a couple of veggies. Today's 1 1/2 smoothie had 4 strawberries, 1 ripe banana (riper=sweeter), 4 scoops of cantaloupe, 6 chunks frozen mango, purple cabbage (4 palm sized leaves), and 6 leaves of romaine lettuce. I add about 6 oz of water too. (Note: If I have 2 medium workouts or 1 long run then I'll add yogurt, OJ or milk to boost the caloric count, but I never add sugar)
This Ninja blender is what I got for Valentine's Day from my true love (myself). I love it!!

Making smoothies every morning has given me amazing skill at eyeballing. Here's me bragging about how I can make a perfect amount for my full glass and Emerson's half glass. (Shantelle, you are pretty much awesome!!)
What does Kamryn eat, you ask? Well, for the past 2 weeks, she has eaten a piece of wheat bread with tomato ketchup. Gross, I know. She's addicted. (Shantelle, you are pretty much awesome at the indoctrination of smoothies into Emerson's diet, you still have a lot of work with Kamryn--You can do it!!)

Random

Yesterday, I ran in my first dirty race. It was so muddy at Wheeler Farm, I was feeling quite lonely as other ladies arrived with husband, boyfriends, and/or parents to watch the race. I was on my own doing something I had never done before. It turned out to be really fun, dirty, but fun. I snapped a few pictures on my phone outside of my car, but needed to leave the phone in the car to go run my wave. There were 12 waves of about 150 girls. Mine was the last wave and I was terrified that I would come in very last. I didn't--yeah! It was 4 miles through an obstacle course. I ran around some of the course instead of army crawling. The first muddy part was tire running through dirty water--I felt sad for my shoes, but got over it when I realized how much fun I was having. Next year, I'll go faster, get dirtier and bring someone to help me take pictures and clean me up afterward.

This morning, I have only Kamryn. Emerson stayed up in Bear Lake five extra days with Grandma and Grandpa. Kamryn was supposed to go to her dad's last night, but he canceled again. She and I woke and started dancing in the living room to the radio. "God Bless the Broken Road that Led me Straight To You" came on as we twirled, lept and held each other. I truly am so grateful to Heavenly Father and my broken road that led me to my 2 little girls.

Getting a drink from a spiritual firehose

I remember being in the MTC (missionary training center) and feeling such a spiritual high that it was exhausting and invigorating at the same time. My brother in law, Mike, had prepped me for this by describing the MTC experiences as trying to take a drink from a firehose. The spiritual power is amazing and strengthens us as we try hard things (like learning a language). Today after a bit of work, I drank from a spiritual firehose throughout the day.

Today I presented at a teachers’ conference. I spoke about using technology to boost motivation and achievement specifically using a class blog for the kids to write and post video of book chats and math demonstrations. It went well and my girls were in good hands with a babysitter in the morning and a neighbor’s in the afternoon. I was the first presenter so I finished at 9 am and took off to see my girls instead of staying to watch other presentations.

When I arrived at my house, the place was empty. I figured the babysitter walked them to the park, so I got really excited that I had no one expecting me to be anywhere. I jumped back in the car, called a friend and met him at the temple. What a great escape! We had a 2 hour worship session and then lunch. I then picked up my girls and took them to my cousin’s house for a sleepover. (It was weird to not have much time with my girls, but they were so excited to play with their 2nd cousins) I was free again. Should I try for a nap or head to the movies. I decided on the movie 17 Miracles. It was wonderful!! I cried (a lot). It ended at 6:50 pm giving me just enough time to get to my Wednesday night Institute class. Our instructor tonight was President Hollingshead. I had heard great things about him, but was over the top impressed. He was so down to earth and spoke from the heart. You could really tell that he loves and feels genuine concern for our group (singles age 27 - 40ish). His stake has generously sponsored all of our classes, activities and socials.

By 8 pm tonight I had experienced at least 5 hours of spiritual nourishment. What a fabulous day. After 75 minutes of socializing, I headed home for journaling, scripture study and blogging. Fantastic Day Off!! I am excited to squeeze my kids tomorrow morning though. Sometimes I just want to gobble them up--they are ADORABLE!! (especially after I’ve had a nice wholesome break from mothering)