I liked painting, but I was no where near good enough to succeed at the "collegiate" level and I really didn't want this class to taint my GPA. After moving through some fairly easy assignments, the professor required us to paint something with difficult colors warning us that if we didn't paint properly, we would end up with a muddy mess. I painted with 2 of the difficult colors he allowed--red and green. Red and green together make muddy brown. I was so careful. There's only one tiny part of my painting that is muddy. I was pleased with my work, but it took a long long time. I still remember the pleasantly shocked look on his face when I presented my painting of a red apple on a green and yellow background. He told me, "Wow! I didn't know you had it in you! You took risks and it tuned out okay."
A while back, I poured my heart out about being scared to fall in love. He is an intelligent, hard working, kind, loving man. I had been afraid that I would love too much and get hurt in the end. It turns out that falling can be really fun if you have a partner that's falling in love right along with you.
Now, as we prepare to blend our lives together, the blending of our families is what scares me. I've heard of others' experiences with step children and step mothers and ex wives and realize that ours will be different. Different doesn't mean easy. Blending families can't be easy for anyone involved. I am so grateful to have a partner right along side of me as we begin the challenging process of blending.
This weekend my girls will get to have more time with him and Emerson, more than Kamryn, realizes that he and I may eventually marry. She sees him differently now than she did when she met him casually in September. She's texted him a few times and is pretty thrilled for his upcoming arrival.
His kids are excited to get to know me, my girls are excited to get to know him--but just like the "excitement" with new love--there will be many other feelings to experience. Here's to the hope, faith and charity we will need to blend these kids as carefully as possible. In the end, I hope to hear something similar to: "I knew you had it in you! You took risks and it tuned out beautifully."