Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Falling is sometimes scary

The only ride that I hate at our local amusement park is the Rocket Re-Entry. There are 2 Rocket rides. One blasts you off 200 feet into the air quickly (within 3 seconds) and then you are let down at a slower speed.
The other Rocket Ride is horrible and works in the opposite direction.
Here is the description from Lagoon's website: "Guests are slowly raised to the top of the 200 foot tower in approximately 20 -25 seconds and then blasted downward."
Blasted is correct.
"As they near the bottom of the tower, they enjoy several cushioned bounces."
Enjoy is not correct. (For me at least)

I went on this ride only once and I cried like a baby for several minutes afterwards. I was 24 at the time and terrified, but in a social setting with single guys and I really tried to pull myself together. I was a mess. I vowed never to do it again.

Falling is scary.

Falling in love is terrifying.

I have been happy to meet new guy friends and had fun dating for the past 6 months. I made a few really good friends and learned a lot from quality individuals.

There were many many nights as I journaled, studied and prayed at the end of the day that I tried to plan and negotiate ways to stay single forever. To date and have friends, but to not get too attached to anyone.

I was afraid of falling in love.

We have had season passes to Lagoon this year. My girls have a few favorite rides. One of their favorites is called the Dinosaur Drop. It is a vertical drop tower ride, but on a smaller scale. The rider only gets to "enjoy" the feeling of dropping to her death from 40 feet, not 200 feet.

I went on this Dinosaur Drop at the beginning of the summer ONLY because I thought that I was required to accompany the little girls. Tears came to my eyes and I hated it, but I didn't completely lose it and I was not an official mess.

For the past couple of months the girls have ridden the Dinosaur Drop without me, but this last weekend, they really wanted me to join them. You know what, I didn't HATE it this time. I didn't exactly LOVE it, but I almost thought it was fun.

A couple of months ago, a certain man really stood out. Not only is he super handsome, but he's an incredible father to his 5 kids. I tried not to get too impressed, but he is pretty amazing. I tried to convince myself that I could prevent myself from falling in love with him. Looking back I can see why I did this. I didn't want to be vulnerable. I didn't want to fall, get hurt and then become a mess.

I was happy being single and I felt very safe physically and emotionally.

I knew from the start that this man would keep me safe physically, but I thought that I wasn't yet willing to allow myself emotional hurt. I still feel like he is out of my league in many areas. However, I am willing to risk the potential hurt because he makes me a better, happier person.

If I can handle the risk of the Dinosaur Drop, I can do almost anything. Yeah, right!!?!!

Someday I may even get married again, but that's as scary as the Rocket Re-entry ride don't you think?

1 comment:

  1. You have to risk a little for the best rewards. Keep an open mind and heart and "enjoy" the ride! {{HUGS}}