Tuesday, May 24, 2011

If I were a drinker instead of a journaler . . .

I'd be sauced.
Today was tough.
Journaling for the past thirty minutes has washed away some pain caused by myopic perspective. Actually, the journaling/reflection changes my perspective and keeps me real.
I went to a Fundraiser tonight for a former student of mine. He has cancer. He's four years older than when I taught him, but unfortunately he probably weighs less now than he did as a 7 yr old. It broke my heart. I held my kids longer tonight at bedtime even though I was looking forward to some quiet think time. I love my girls so much. My heart aches for this cancer fighting family that I saw tonight.
I love the school's support of this boy and his family. The office staff and teachers are incredible. My heart swells with love for the people at this school. They offered so much love and support for me during a time when I was too proud to let family, church and friends know what was happening in my personal life. They didn't ask me if I needed help; they just gave me everything that I needed to help my sick husband, care for my babies and help me feel safe and loved.
Things have been so wonderful in my personal life over the last year. It would be really great to work at this fabulous school again now that I can be one that provides love and service. The school does have openings. I interviewed there last Thursday. I didn't think that I interviewed well and I still haven't been offered anything. I was a bit depressed earlier today. I rarely get depressed. I think my mood was a bit out of whack because my morning run was WAY too short also. It was so rainy AND my girls woke too early so I cut the run short.
I'm really grateful that I got out of that mood with some help from my journal. When I get my thoughts on paper, I can more easily identify the fuzzy thinking and begin to see things as they are (or how they should be).

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