Sunday, December 5, 2010

'Tis the Season for Exhaustion

We took this picture yesterday. It's not a great picture, but it illustrates the holiday exhaustion well. My girls were so excited to meet Santa, but then Emerson told me later that she couldn't smile--she was sure Santa had figured out that she wasn't always nice and it stressed her out.

Well my first full week back to working full time is finally over!! I think that I was trying to get everything done in the same amount of time and I learned some valuable lessons.
During the 4 months that I was able to be a stay at home mom, I stayed on top of the laundry, read 6-10 books to my girls each day, played math games and phonics games with them every day, played horses, ran around outside and took them to the gym with me 5 times a week. I also had at least 1 hour of journal/scriptures/prayer time for myself every day. On some nights, (most) I did indulge in 90 minutes of TV after the girls fell asleep--usually while cleaning or folding laundry I would watch King of Queens and then The Office reruns.
This week, with 9 hours of work each day, I had to let some things go. Unfortunately, I didn't let go of the most worthless thing (TV).
I didn't do any laundry until Friday night--it was really bothering me--but it worked--actually, no it didn't work, because it's Sunday and it hasn't even been put away yet. I only read 2 books to the girls at bedtime and we only played math and phonic games 2 days this week. I didn't build a snowman with them and we only went to the gym 1 time. My journaling and study hour was cut to fifteen minutes BUT I was still able to watch 90 minutes of TV after they went to bed. I didn't even do anything productive while the TV was on (except maybe check FB, but that isn't really productive is it?)
Emerson had 1 dress rehearsal and 1 performance for her singing class this week, so we were pulled a bit during the week nights. Two days this week we left the house at 7:30 am and didn't return until after 8 pm.
One night my brother Sean called and invited us to dinner--it was such I nice surprise. I was exhausted and was eager to get home and rest, but I always look forward to any time with my extended family. Especially because my girls need time with their uncles. I want them to be comfortable around trusted men as often as possible. Sean and his wife had a delicious fancy holiday meal for my little family and my sister Sharla. Sharla's little baby is getting big; she's 9 weeks old now. She is so cute and such a blessing. I'm so glad that she made it here to earth safely.
Yesterday was a whirlwind: Singles' Breakfast, birthday party, work in my classroom, pictures with the cousins, meeting Santa at the mall, and ward gingerbread house party. My girls were so well behaved through that crazy day. I had Kamryn on my shoulders a bunch, but she was going without a nap, so I babied her a little. We all went to sleep early and today everyone is in a great mood.

30 Minutes journaling/scripture time daily
4 days at the gym
4 days of phonics and math games
3 books read to girls each night
Laundry DONE Wednesday and Friday nights (even put away)
Go to sleep at 9:30 instead of TV til 11.

Thursday and Friday will be exceptions this week as we have a "Lights at Temple Square" activity with the 27-40 yr old Singles on Thursday and then a party on Friday in Utah County. We may not get home until after 11 pm on both of those nights.

At least my shopping is all done. Now, I love Christmas time!


  1. From my journal (I wasn't going to add this to the blog, but changed my mind). I had a little anxiety last night for the ward Christmas party. I knew that I would be the only single adult there and I felt unwelcomed. We arrived at 6:05 thinking that it started at 6 pm. Well, the planning committee met us with really unfriendly stressed faces because the activity wasn’t supposed to start until 6:30 and they were not yet ready for us to arrive. I offered to help tape down the paper on the tables but they didn’t even respond. I grabbed the girls and headed out to the van with tears in my eyes. I told the girls that we were too early and instead we should go to the store and buy our own gingerbread house to decorate instead of doing it with our ward. Emerson told me she rather do it at the church, but that it was okay if we went home instead. I was so so tired after a long week. After buying stuff for gingerbread houses and driving towards home, I realized that my feelings were not healthy or even solid. I should feel very welcome at this activity. The committee planned it for children and I had 2 that were really excited to go. I decided I would head back to the church for the ward party. Turning into the church parking lot, I realized that there were 2 others who would not feel welcome at this party. They are single women without young children. I also realized that there are a handful of older couples in our ward who would probably not come to the party. My heart hurt for them and I asked Heavenly Father for forgiveness for feeling sorry for myself and for selfishly thinking of myself and not of my girls. We ended up having fun. A few sisters spoke to me. A couple of kids said hi to my daughters and a man from the planning committee checked on us a couple of times to make sure we had what we needed. Hopefully, soon, I will not be counting how many people sought us out, but I will be one visiting others and checking on their needs. Still Growing Up.

  2. ah, Shani, you are such a good soul! I need to take lessons from you. Your post made me tired just reading it. I can only imagine how tiring it is to be doing everything and work full time! You are amazing.

    We loved having you guys over for dinner. Something we should definitely do more often. Emerson and Kamryn are such loves. They are welcome anytime you need a break. I love you! It was good to see you yesterday.